最近在臉書上流傳的一篇貼文 “跟建築師約會的十大迷思” ，公司裡的建築師們看得哈哈大笑，說這真是太貼切了，不過我想文中的情況應該只適用於美國的建築師吧? 在美國建築是服務業，殺生大權乃掌握在建商手中，可憐的建築師們內心的辛酸無人知曉，希望藉這個機會讓大家了解ㄧ下，美國的建築師並不是向大家所想像的那麼風光呢。(斜字體是我的加註)
1. “Architects make a lot of money.” 建築師很會賺錢
This is not true. (But people assume it is.)
這是不正確的，但人們假設他們很會賺錢。
剛畢業的建築學生年薪只有三四萬起跳，跟ㄧ般大學生沒甚麼不同，熬了十幾年爬到頂端也跟所有行業ㄧ般，沒有特別會轉錢啦!
2. “Architects are used to late nights.” 建築師習慣晚睡
In theory, it shouldn’t be a problem to stay up all night for sexytime. But in reality, they probably pulled an all-nighter last night and are ready to crash at 8 tonight.
理論上來說，習慣晚睡對於通宵玩樂來說應該不成問題，但事實上，他們可能昨晚做太晚而今晚九點就會睡著了。
習慣晚睡是趕案子，常常搞到晚上八九點回家，以至於早上爬不起來上班。
3. “There is no such thing as a fat architect.” 沒有肥胖的建築師
For some reason. I have no idea.
我不知道為甚麼有這種說法。
是阿，我看過的胖建築師可多了呢。
4. “Things you never even knew existed are now the most important. thing. ever.” 從來不知道的事突然開始變得很重要。
“That is the ugliest fucking radiator ever”, “How did they not align the light switch with the outlet?” “What’s your favorite kind of hinge?” “What’s your favorite CAD command?”
“這該死的散熱器真是有夠醜”，“他們怎麼不對齊燈光開關與插座？”，“你最喜歡什麼樣的鉸鏈？”，“哪一個是你最喜歡的CAD指令嗎？”
建築師有很多品質跟做工上的堅持，有時會讓工人不知所措。
5. “They’re probably anal.” 他們大多很機車
They probably have one of three “systems” for organizing their bookshelves: by color, by size (largest to smallest), by publisher. None of these make any sense and ironically provide the very opposite of “order”, but it doesn’t matter, because it looks better. In fact, they will have a “system” for everything, including organizing the fridge and how to put their clothes away. You might think it’s cute at first, an endearing quirk – until you realize how much of their precious little free time is consumed by obsessing over things that a) no one cares about and b) does not enhance their lives in any way.
他們可能有一個書架依照三個“系統”來分類: 顏色，尺寸（最大到最小），發行商。這些沒有任何意義，但這並不重要，因為書架看起來好看。事實上，他們的一切都有一個“系統”，包括冰箱內部分配，以及如何把自己的衣服分類。你可能會認為這是一個可愛的怪癖 – 直到你意識到他們消耗掉多少寶貴的時間著迷於 a）沒有人關心的事情，和 b）不以任何方式來提高他們的生活。
完全正確!
6. “After a while, you will only hang out with architects.” 過一陣子，你周遭的朋友都只剩建築師。
This happens. Hope you don’t just love your architect, but that you love ALL architects.
會發生這種情況。希望你不只是愛你的建築師，但願你會愛所有的建築師。
常常熬夜趕工還要約會? 最後剩下的朋友就只有同甘共苦的建築師們了。
7. “Architects handle relationship/life stress well.” 建築師很能處理兩性關係與生活壓力。
Because anything is less stressful than a deadline.
因為沒有甚麼比交件期限更緊張。
這是錯誤的，很多建築師對自己的脾氣都控制不好，何況是兩性關係呢?
8. “You won’t get studio.” 你不會擁有一個工作室。
Prepare yourself for constant references to this mysterious place called “studio” that they spent every waking moment of their college lives in, and never being let on on the inside jokes, with explanations like “you had to be there” or “it was a lot funnier at four in the morning.”
他們經常會提到這個神秘的地方，稱之為“工作室”，他們的大學生活中，他們花了每一個醒著的時刻在工作室裡埋頭苦幹，你無法理解。
阿! 工作室，真是懷念。
9. “They will be coffee snobs.” 他們是咖啡因的頑固份子。
If it’s not organically grown, economically sustainable and socially consciously harvested, and brewed in a vintage French Press OR a Chemex, chances are,they might politely decline your coffee. Until, four minutes later, they realize they’re caffeine deprived and, ethics be damned, this presentation needs to get to Dubai by 1AM…
如果不是有機生長，經濟持續發展和社會自覺收穫的咖啡，他們會禮貌地拒絕你的咖啡。直到四分鐘後，他們意識到他們咖啡因中毒，而且有案子需要凌晨1點去迪拜作報告…
對於咖啡的挑剔大概也算是源於對於事物的堅持。(或是機車!)
10. “Architects are passionate, dedicated people.” 建築師都是熱情且執著的人。
They didn’t get through 5 years of architectural school by being lazy, indifferent and stupid. (Need a first date conversation starter? Ask them about how many people dropped out of their program freshman year – they’ll be all too proud to tell you that “they were one of the few” who made it out unscathed.”) They know just enough about every culturally relevant artist, philosopher, composer etc to make them seem exceptionally worldly and cultured – your parents should love them. Keep in mind that it’s all a facade (no pun intended!) and that if you were to press them on any one of those topics, they’ll find a way to skillfully manipulate the conversation into some abstract “concept” and avoid being called out on not knowing shit.
懶惰，冷漠和愚蠢不會讓他們獲得通過5年的建築學校。 （如果在第一次約會問他們，有多少人退出了建築學校，他們會很自豪地告訴你：“他們是為數不多的佼佼者”。）他們稍微知道每一個文化相關的藝術家，哲學家，作曲家等，使他們顯得分外世俗和有涵養 – 你的父母會喜愛他們。請記住，如果你追問他們這些議題中的任何一個，他們會找到一種方法，巧妙地操縱一些抽象的“概念”，以免被發覺出他們只知表面不知全部而出醜。
建築師大多是熱情而且執著的人，但是被客戶跟建商欺侮久了之後，就會慢慢被消磨成呆呆的上班族，只求朝九晚五不求能爬到高位。